The first step

I've been mulling over the idea of the Peace Corp idea, again. The wanderlust has sparked my reinterest in the idea, as my next travel with Liberty is not until August.

The only things that stand in my way:
1• Weight. I need to drop I think around 80 lbs to qualify. I no longer care about keeping this a secret. Most of you know I'm overweight. It's okay to me if you know just how fat; it makes me more accountable. So there it is. I'm confident that even if I can't meet the goal in 13 months (and really, I'm not sure if 80 lbs is possible in that span of time), a bit more than half of that might actually work.

2• Money. This is not something I'm prepared to be completely honest about. It's a lot of money. If I get serious, I mean really serious about the process, I'm going to start a web-based fundraiser to help with a fraction of the cost. If web denizens would just donate one dollar each...

What costs are involved? Mainly paying off credit cards (3), getting my teeth in shape (see below), getting my transcripts from UNT (they claim that I owe them money), and general prep money for things such as shoes, new clothes as I lose weight, a laptop if I get assigned to an urban area, an extra pair of glasses, tons of memory cards for my digital camera, luggage, medical exams, and money to leave my family to help offset postage as they send packages.

3• Teeth. I have horribly weak teeth. My dental hygiene is not nearly as perfect as my roommate's, but this is one life change that will take hardly any effort (just will power.) I have to admit, toothpaste is one of the most vial things I am forced to put in my mouth, but I've also started exercising a bit(gasp!) even though I hate sweating and being out of breath.

Also, cutting out soda will help with both this and issue number 1 *tear*. Even so, I fear how much money I'm going to have to pour into the teeth thing to attain my medical clearance, setting me back on issue 2. Bah, vicious circles!

Other than that, it's planning and diligence! I'm going to an information session next Wednesday night to help me decide how serious about all of this I am. Hopefully I can actually achieve a goal for the first time in my life.

So yeah. I'm having to shed some pride and shame to admit to all that. Putting it down in writing is supposed to make it tangible.

But I'm not doing a damn thing for myself in life at the moment. I'm unmarried, childfree (or childless, depending on how my uterus feels any given week), in a stagnant job with nothing to be proud of. The people who care expect more from me, or at least they should. The love of my friends and family is very much appreciated, but I would hate to think that people have given up on believing that I can be more than this.


[inspected IAD]